Why Won't My Husband Have Sex With Me? – 4 Reasons Your Husband Withholds Sex | Dr. Doug Weiss

May 8, 2021 by No Comments

These four reasons help you understand why your husband is not having sex with you. Use these reasons as a starting point to understand what the problem is and find solutions to make your sex life better. Here are the four reasons your husband withholds sex:

For more information on Intimacy Anorexia, go to

1. Depression. Depression can steal the joy out of men’s lives including their sex drives. Depression leads to not wanting to do things they used to enjoy, having low energy, feeling worthless, and possible suicidal or self harm thoughts. Depression shrinks men’s desire to do anything in their lives including work, be with friends or family, and engage in hobbies they once loved. If your man is feeling like this, there is a good chance they will not want to have sex with you either. Get treatment. This will help you discover if the depression is psychological or chemical.

2. Low Thyroid. Thyroid related reasons can present like the symptoms of depression, but they are directly related to a thyroid imbalance. A few tests at a doctor’s office can help you figure out if this is a concern. If it is, medications can help fix it.

3. Testosterone. Testosterone levels play a large part in men’s sex drives and wanting to have sex. There are many supplements available which can help boost testosterone levels and help men want to have sex and want it more often. Like the thyroid tests, testosterone tests can be performed at your local doctor’s office.

4. Intimacy Anorexia. If you are a woman married to a man who is an intimacy anorexic, you feel like you are begging to be loved, wanted, and noticed. You feel disconnected. These feeling last for the majority of the time until there is a major crisis and your husband changes for a short period of time. Then your relationship goes back to the old disconnected and unloved feelings. You can tell if your man has intimacy anorexia if he keeps himself so busy that he has time for everything except you; he blames you for all of the issues in your marriage; he withholds love from you in ways you want and need to be loved; he withholds praise from you and doesn’t acknowledge what you do and how well you do it; he does not have sex with you or does not feel “with you” during sex; he does not engage your spiritually; he is unable to share feelings with you; he controls the marriage and creates distance with anger and/or silence; he shames you for spending money or controls you when you do spend money; he makes you feel like a roommate.

Characteristics of Intimacy Anorexia
Is he too busy?
Does he blame you for all the issues in the marriage?
Does he withhold love?
Withholding praise
Withholding sex
Withholding spirituality
Unwilling or unable to share feelings with you
Using anger or silence as a way to create distance between you.
Controlling or shaming around money issues
Do you feel like a roommate?

For more help with intimacy anorexia visit: or purchase the book:

If your husband isn’t having sex with you, you can learn more at or call the Heart to Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708. Our counseling sessions and 3 and 5 day intensives help you recover your relationship with your husband or partner. Take your intimacy and relationship to a deeper level and contact us now.